Why you should drop it back into third.

I just sabotaged my friends business. She’s hardly done a full hours work, or got a single task completed, since I meddled. Of course, I haven’t damaged her career on purpose– I simply introduced her to a guy. Since that ‘set up’, they’ve never been apart. Even when they manage to separate for a few hours “work”, thus begins the barrage of naughty texts and emails.

There isn’t a form of communication that hasn’t been fully utilized in this courtship. And don’t worry, I haven’t been left out of the “technology loop”. I’m getting my fair share of calls, texts, emails and BBM’s too. One the surface it might appear as though our friendship has great depth, only the topic of conversation is eerily singular; “What has he/she said to you about me?” I have almost come to terms with the fact that I no longer exist as a friend, and am now a portal for their communication, a featherless carrier pigeon in a cage of my own making.

Despite the interference, I’m still rather pleased with myself for predicting such a perfect match. Dexter, watch your back! What’s more, I’ve already secured bridesmaid honors and future Godmother status, should it come to that, as I envisage it will.

In just three weeks, he’s already sent her several bunches of flowers, invited her away fror the weekend, planned a joint dinner party, and lent her his favourite teddy bear for her to babysit.  While I’m thrilled they’ve fallen so fast, I can’t help but compare the speed of their courtship to my own relationship. And to be honest, I’m not thrilled with the comparison. Why did my man wait months before inviting me on a trip? How come I’ve never been allowed to babysit his favourite teddy bear? (Come to think of it, does my man even have a teddy bear and if not, why?)

When it comes to love, we can’t help but use other people’s relationships as a barometer for our own. For guys, it’s usually a sexually charged comparison: “Why does he get to sleep with his girlfriend after two dates while I’m still waiting two months?” For girls, it’s traditionally commitment related, “Why am I still waiting to meet his parents when my friend has already met her boy’s entire family?”

It’s human nature to compare ourselves to our friends, family and even celebrities. It’s the way we check that everything is normal. Since caveman days, competition has keeps us moving forward, be it in the jungle, the boardroom, the bedroom, in the academic arena or on the athletic track. Indeed, I doubt Olympic world records would be what they are, were it not for someone else sweating it out in the next lane.

Amidst all this rivalry, it’s easy to forget that every relationship is unique and needs to unfold at its own pace. Because the thing about relationships, unlike the 100-meter sprint, is, there is no finish line. You might start off wanting a second date, and before you know it, you’re striving towards an engagement ring, a family, a bigger home, a better car, a more generous divorce settlement. But what’s the rush? Since the couples we admire most are the ones still hobbling along, hand in hand, 10, 20, 60 years down the track.

Perhaps we’re in such a hurry because we’re scared that, if we don’t act quickly, we’ll miss out. Research proves that time isn’t always a relationships friend. A study of 4000 married couples by reaserch marketing company onepoll.com showed that the average married couple gives up on romance just two years, six months and 25 days into a marriage. During the first few months of marriage, 83 per cent of couples held hands frequently, compared to a dismal 38 per cent of couples who had been hitched for a decade. Couples were shown to cuddle more in the beginning, with an average of more than eight times a day prior to the first wedding anniversary, compared with five or fewer after 10 years of marriage.

It’s enough to make you want to slow things right down. Truth is, every successful relationship needs a shared goal, but rather than trying to get to the finish line asap, that target should be learning how to relish each step. So if you’re lucky enough to get to the end, it feels as though you’ve just begun.


  1. I do trust all of the ideas you have introduced to your post. They are very convincing and can definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are too short for starters. Could you please prolong them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.

  2. I have recently started a website, the information you offer on this website has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.

  3. I was very pleased to uncover this great site. I need to to thank you for your time just for this wonderful read!! I definitely really liked every little bit of it and I have you saved to fav to look at new things in your web site.

  4. It really is near not possible to see well-updated individuals on this niche, then again you seem like you be aware of the things that you’re indicating! Thanks A Lot

  5. Hello there, just became conscious of your web page through yahoo, and have found that it’s pretty good. I’ll be grateful for should you decide continue on this idea.

  6. I merely wish to share it with you that I am new to writing and completely enjoyed your report. Very possible I am most likely to store your blog post . You definitely have extraordinary article material. Love it for swapping with us your very own domain write-up

  7. But wanna input on few general things, The website design and style is perfect, the articles is rattling fantastic. “All movements go too far.” by Bertrand Russell.

  8. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your web site and in accession capital to assert that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I will be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.

  9. What’s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve found It absolutely helpful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & help other users like its helped me. Good job.

  10. Hello, you used to write fantastic, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your super writings. Past several posts are just a little out of track! come on!

  11. Thanks for another informative website. Where else could I get that type of information written in such an ideal way? I have a project that I’m just now working on, and I’ve been on the look out for such info.

  12. It’s actually a nice and helpful piece of info. I am happy that you just shared this useful information with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

  13. I’ll immediately seize your rss as I can not in finding your email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly allow me recognize so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  14. Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your site is great, as well as the content!

  15. I cherished up to you will obtain carried out proper here. The cartoon is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. however, you command get got an edginess over that you would like be delivering the following. unwell indubitably come further formerly once more since exactly the similar just about very often within case you shield this increase.

  16. Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Cheers!

  17. Wonderful web site. A lot of useful info here. I’m sending it to several pals ans also sharing in delicious. And of course, thank you to your sweat!

  18. I was just looking for this info for some time. After six hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got it in your site. I wonder what is the lack of Google strategy that do not rank this type of informative websites in top of the list. Generally the top web sites are full of garbage.

  19. An attention-grabbing discussion is price comment. I think that you should write extra on this subject, it might not be a taboo topic however typically people are not enough to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers

Write A Comment