He hasn’t sent flowers. Or a card. Or called.

A girl can ‘date’ a guy and be completely unaware of the status of their relationship, but not on Valentine’s Day. 

On any other day of the year, you could naively believe that he thinks of you as his potential future wife, or at least his current squeeze, but if he doesn’t make an effort on Valentine’s Day, you have to face the lipstick writing on the wall; “he’s just not that into you”.

Any every other day of the year, we can make perfectly reasonable excuses as to why he might not have called, or why he can’t hang out. “He’s got a really demanding new client at work”, “He likes me so much he doesn’t want to come on too strong” or “He doesn’t know it’s my birthday”.

But come V.Day, the excuses are out the window because no matter whether he works at Hallmark or lives in Denmark, the dude knows what day it is. Every chocolate shop and florist within a 1000 mile radius of him has personally ensured that the 14th of February is etched into the back of his cerebral cortex, like lovers initials on an old oak tree. 

And the only thing worse than finding out that the guy you fancied is a flight of fancy, is having to discover it on the most romantic day of the year- The human equivalent to Noah’s Ark- whereby if you’re not paired up with a mate, you truly feel like you’ve missed the boat. 

Every pink balloon, every oversized heart shaped card in the grocery aisle, every overpriced bunch of red rose is yet another thorn in your side, reminding you that You. Are. Alone. And there’s nowhere to hide. 

You either brave a night out on the town, surrounded by a sea of lovers staring deeply into each other’s eyes through the candlelight (as you consider burning the joint down to the ground). Or you stay home feeling sorry for yourself, flicking through television stations bombarded with every great lovey-dovey movie ever made (“You complete me”). Oh, please. 

It’s enough to make you want to down the whole box of  Ferrero Rocher’s you bought for yourself, because, did I mention, no one else did. But don’t, because I have bigger plans for you.

If you find yourself suddenly single this Valentine’s Day, and many a fabulous gal has, here is my list of fabulous single only things to do that will make your loved up friends choke on their strawberry champagne with jealousy:

Make a date with the most fabulous person in the whole world- you! Run a bubble bath, write a love poem to yourself, get a massage, a manicure and generally spoil yourself rotten.

Plan a sexy singles party, whereby each girl must bring one eligible single guy they know. Make a jug of strong sangria and play a game of ‘spin the bottle’, with the empty wine bottle.

Have a girls night in. Gather your best single gal pals for a night of pink PJs, strawberry iced cupcakes and your favourite ‘girl power’ movie marathon. Suggested titles: Thelma & Louise, Sex & The City, Sixteen Candles, Charlie’s Angels, or Bridesmaids.

Grab a single girlfriend and head to your favorite bar or cafe. It’s the one night of the year when only the single boys will be out, which means no more “but he’s got a girlfriend” dilemmas.

Go for a long walk by the coast at sunset and find all the heart shaped rocks. Reconnect with Mother Nature, she’s a single girl too.

Whatever you do, don’t feel sorry for yourself. Before you know it, you’ll be one of those boring couples paying crazy prices for a six course meal that makes you feel about as sexy as a drugged wombat and pretending to be excited about yet another bunch of hideous baby breath flowers. This is your year to enjoy the lightness of being (single).

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